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You Are Not Alone

You are not alone in wanting to create a safer environment for yourself, your family, and your community. You can start by learning about the warning signs, reaching out to talk to someone, and finding out about appropriate intervention and educational services for either sexual or domestic violence offenders/perpetrators.

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Read our latest newsletter: February 2017.

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"I spoke out to put a face to the issue for the millions of women, men and children who suffer in silence and to say that you are not alone. Help is available." ~ Ayanna Pressley, Boston City Councilor (Photo by Christopher Mason)

For Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence

No one deserves to be beaten, battered, threatened, or in any way victimized by violence by their intimate partner in current or former dating, married, or cohabitating relations. Domestic violence can happen to anyone, female or male, young or old, single or married, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, or income level.  Domestic violence, sometimes called battering, is against the law. And you have the right to live without physical, sexual, verbal, mental, or emotional violence or the fear of such abuse.

What is domestic violence? 

It’s not about a single fight or disagreement in a relationship. Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behaviors where one partner is trying to gain power and control over the other. These behaviors can involve:

  • physical abuse or the threat of physical abuse
  • repeated psychological abuse
  • forced sexual activity
  • isolation
  • intimidation
  • economic manipulation
  • medical deprivation

Warning signs such as jealousy, name-calling, and possessiveness are red flags for an abusive relationship. Many victims of domestic violence report that the “crazy-making” behavior of psychological abuse by batterers is more devastating than the physical violence.

You May Feel

  • You may feel confused that someone you love (or once loved) is hurting you.
  • You may feel ashamed or guilty or wonder if anyone will believe you.
  • Maybe you’re worried about calling the police or telling your family, friends, or co-workers.
  • You may have lost hope that things can change.
  • Your abuser may keep telling you you aren't lovable or worthy of a life without them.
  • Many people feel more worried about their children, or even their pets, than they do about themselves.

If you find yourself wondering if you are in a relationship with an abusive partner or have questions about your rights and your safety, please talk to a trusted adult or contact your local domestic violence program to speak to a trained advocate.

You are not alone. Millions of people are abused each day, and many, many of them find their way to a different more peaceful life. We want you to be one of those people!

Things to Know About Batterers

Domestic violence is never the victim’s fault. It is not a matter of being in a violent relationship, but rather being in a relationship with a person who is abusive. Abusers will use as many strategies as they need to establish and maintain control. Some victims of domestic violence have never been battered physically. Sometimes one threat of physical violence is enough to terrorize a person and the abuser never has to hit them again. But this doesn’t mean the violence has been “resolved” in the relationship or that the abuse has stopped. The dynamics of fear and control can be long lasting.

It’s also true that most people who are abusive rarely admit that they are the cause of the problem. It’s common for batterers to blame the victim for “making me mad” or “making me jealous.” These excuses manipulate the victim and other people by shifting the burden. Batterers also try to minimize their behavior by making false claims such as “Everyone acts like that.” Most victims try to placate and please their abusive partners in order to deescalate the violence. The batterer chooses to abuse, and bears full responsibility for the violence.

Help is Available

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